Guilt - Sorry...

Im home, just to feel even worse then before leaving... The trip was great, allright.

But the guilt in me is just aganosingly painful.. How could i be soo dumb? why did i have to do it? Why of all people? why not me!?

One of the worst things that could happen to someone is guilt i'd say. Knowing that you could have done better or not do such things really kills.
The event i organised went pretty well i said, but someone got badly bruised and injured during the preparation, and to add, it happened to someone that i dearly love too.

I was the cause of it.. Why did it not happen to me instead!, i was using it first! i brought it! why o why... Im the one organising the event... I should have had the losses not those who helped me!

The feeling you have when the somone is trying to be nice to you by not saying that its your fault when she explains herself to others (appreciate it...but) is even more painful when you yourself know that its you that caused it all... If i was thinking more clearly, or if i even Thought for a second, none of this would have happened. Do i blame it on stress? no i cant! it was just me being stupid...

Because of me, that someone is going through a torrid time, and what could be worse than leaving her alone immediately after inflicting it... poor girl had to go through all the pain, which rapidly increased as days passed...no doctor to go to, no drug to take...

Hearing her talk on the pain is already bad, and reading on it just makes it worse... Given the circumstances that shes to have a big week ahead from this coming weekend...

I just admire her...she can laugh her pain off, and come up with jokes over it and so on.. Shes just soo cool... but why her!!... :(

I would say pain is greater in you when it happens to someone you cheerish than it happening to you yourself...

I shall pray that she gets well by this weekend, Atleast...


Sigh.. :(




Sorry Rachel...

One Life, One Love, enjoy every bit of it- with those you love.